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Burnt Toast Lives

Posted by myrlia, Sun May 25 23:43:00 UTC 2008

One of my friends, a mother of three, was joking with me about the Burnt Toast Syndrome a while back. This is the drive which leads loving mothers to eat the burnt toast themselves, as they want their families to have only the best. I suspect every dedicated parent understands this theory, and many are probably living “Burnt Toast” lives.

Yes, it is important to care for your family. You don’t want them to get sick, or feel a lack of support. And you want them to live happy, peaceful lives – without stress. So, you run around everywhere, spending every ounce of your own energy taking care of your loved ones.

I want to offer every part of my being to caring for my family, and definitely find myself suddenly hustling to prepare dinner without having had time to even eat my own lunch yet; but I always hear that little voice telling me not to forget about myself. At first, this made me feel terribly selfish – How could I think about myself when I have two little ones who need me? Then, after a few bouts of illness, and publishing an interview with Leeza Gibbons, everything became crystal clear.

If I get sick, my family suffers. My husband has to fill in for me as Mommy, and my children are left to bare-minimum daytime attention. This is just in the case of a short-term illness, from pushing myself too hard, and sacrificing too much of my own health in just a matter of weeks or months. What happens over years of such self-neglect?

I watched my own parents suffer over the decline of their parents, with the years of smoking and poor diet having had an obvious effect. What parent wants to do that to their children, no matter how old they are? So, it is with this in mind that I ask myself, ‘Did I eat well today?’ as I head off to bed before I am too tired to sleep.

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How To Be A Woman

Posted by myrlia, Mon May 12 23:54:00 UTC 2008

In response to Steve Pavlina’s How To Be A Man:

1. Be Strong – It seems too obvious to even mention, but here it is. Man or woman, strength is a key ingredient to a good life. Stand up for yourself, and you won’t regret it. If you let people intimidate you, or make your choices for you, you will travel on a downward path towards bitterness and low-self esteem. You are the best person to know your own mind and stand up for what you feel is best.

2. Choose the Right Friends – Time spent with friends should be an energizing time of self-discovery and mutual support. If you aren’t getting that from your friends, ask yourself why. Do you have a cycle of negativity with them? If so, perhaps it is time to stir things up a bit.

3. Choose the Right Partner – Regardless of whether or not you plan to have children, ask yourself, ‘Would this person be good enough to raise my children?’ If the answer is no, then why is he/she good enough for you? Which brings us to number 4:

4. Love Yourself – Treat yourself with the same love and respect you would wish for your children. Once you reach adulthood, you are your own child, after all. You are the one responsible for your own health and happiness, so don’t leave yourself alone and abandoned by the only one able to see you through every moment of your life. You are the most special person in your life. Without this love, you cannot properly care for anyone else.

5. Channel Your Inner Mother – You are female, and therefore, something inside you is made to be a mother in some sense. Embrace this part of you, and speak out against people who are doing bad things, congratulate those who are doing good things and support those who could use a little more strength in what they are doing. Be a mother to your family, neighborhood and the world.

6. Live Gracefully – Much of coming across as a real woman is about grace. Don’t overdo make-up or worry about your hair and clothes every moment of the day. You are who you are, accept it and live gracefully. Being a woman is about knowing who you are, and being comfortable with it. In the end, do you want to be a Tammy Faye or a Jane Seymour?

7. Keep Learning – For all the woman driver and dumb blonde jokes, one of the greatest things about being a woman is the ability to multitask and find clothing items that are folded up in the drawer, right where they should be, despite the assertions to the contrary made by her life partner. These abilities aren’t always recognized as signs of intelligence, but they are. A happy woman will continue to exercise her mind, keeping her wit quick, and adding to her ability to entertain and offer the correct words of encouragement to others, as well as protect herself. The more active she keeps her mind, the more able she will be to stay strong and aware, and make the right decisions.

8. Take Care of Yourself – In the world as it is today, many of us are guilty of skimping on the time we take to rest, feed ourselves proper food and relax. A woman should remember that her health is all-important. Without good health, she will not be able to accomplish her goals.

9 Laugh and Play – Don’t worry about what people think – have fun! Chase your children through the play-scape tunnel, get grass stains on your clothing. Life isn’t all about being proper and serious. Enjoy the time you have, and those around you will enjoy themselves, too, providing an energizing circle of joy.

10. Don’t be afraid to turn into your mother – Sure, she’s not perfect, and you don’t want to be just like her. But you won’t be; you have had your own experiences, and should feel secure enough in this knowledge to embrace the family resemblance that you cannot escape. Be who you want to be, but honor those who helped you become that person.

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