My father always seemed to delight in annoying my sister and me when we were children. He would take us someplace wonderful, such as a carnival or amusement park, send us on the ride of our choice, and at the end of the ride, never failed to ask, “Are you having fun?”

With much eye-rolling, we would answer, “Yes, Dad.”

He’d laugh and retort, “Tell your faces!”

I never fully understood this then.

My husband and one of his best friends have a game they like to play, which involves the two of them walking down the street and smiling at people – No big deal, no words, just simple smiles. The first one to get a smile in return wins. They claim they have never won.

This always struck me as odd, because I felt that people always smiled at me. Recently, however, I have become aware of the many people who don’t return my near-permanent expression of greeting. At first, I felt frustrated and sad about not getting smiles, but now, I feel bad for the people who can’t even manage to tell their faces to cheer up a bit. Every time I see a dour expression, I am reminded that not everyone knows how to find joy in their lives, and am thankful for the happiness I have in mine.

This feeling was driven home by a horrible man who recently assaulted one of our writers at an LA charity event. After several days of thought, our writer decided not to burden herself with the stress pressing charges would entail, and instead will just let the unfortunate incident fade away to a distant memory.

I really have to wonder, though, how bad this man’s life must be, that he would attack a woman in full view of cameras and other recording equipment. How removed from himself and his ability to find happiness must he be for this to happen?

Reminding myself that I have found a greater happiness than he currently knows exists helps my anger to dissipate, and a tip I told my husband years ago has also come in handy for me here. I picture the man shrinking down to a tiny speck on the palm of my hand, and blow him away. Not only does this help me to feel better, but, in the past, this trick has been routinely followed up by “coincidences” such as irksome co-workers’ office departments relocating to other floors.

In response to Steve Pavlina’s How To Be A Man:

1. Be Strong – It seems too obvious to even mention, but here it is. Man or woman, strength is a key ingredient to a good life. Stand up for yourself, and you won’t regret it. If you let people intimidate you, or make your choices for you, you will travel on a downward path towards bitterness and low-self esteem. You are the best person to know your own mind and stand up for what you feel is best.

2. Choose the Right Friends – Time spent with friends should be an energizing time of self-discovery and mutual support. If you aren’t getting that from your friends, ask yourself why. Do you have a cycle of negativity with them? If so, perhaps it is time to stir things up a bit.

3. Choose the Right Partner – Regardless of whether or not you plan to have children, ask yourself, ‘Would this person be good enough to raise my children?’ If the answer is no, then why is he/she good enough for you? Which brings us to number 4:

4. Love Yourself – Treat yourself with the same love and respect you would wish for your children. Once you reach adulthood, you are your own child, after all. You are the one responsible for your own health and happiness, so don’t leave yourself alone and abandoned by the only one able to see you through every moment of your life. You are the most special person in your life. Without this love, you cannot properly care for anyone else.

5. Channel Your Inner Mother – You are female, and therefore, something inside you is made to be a mother in some sense. Embrace this part of you, and speak out against people who are doing bad things, congratulate those who are doing good things and support those who could use a little more strength in what they are doing. Be a mother to your family, neighborhood and the world.

6. Live Gracefully – Much of coming across as a real woman is about grace. Don’t overdo make-up or worry about your hair and clothes every moment of the day. You are who you are, accept it and live gracefully. Being a woman is about knowing who you are, and being comfortable with it. In the end, do you want to be a Tammy Faye or a Jane Seymour?

7. Keep Learning – For all the woman driver and dumb blonde jokes, one of the greatest things about being a woman is the ability to multitask and find clothing items that are folded up in the drawer, right where they should be, despite the assertions to the contrary made by her life partner. These abilities aren’t always recognized as signs of intelligence, but they are. A happy woman will continue to exercise her mind, keeping her wit quick, and adding to her ability to entertain and offer the correct words of encouragement to others, as well as protect herself. The more active she keeps her mind, the more able she will be to stay strong and aware, and make the right decisions.

8. Take Care of Yourself – In the world as it is today, many of us are guilty of skimping on the time we take to rest, feed ourselves proper food and relax. A woman should remember that her health is all-important. Without good health, she will not be able to accomplish her goals.

9 Laugh and Play – Don’t worry about what people think – have fun! Chase your children through the play-scape tunnel, get grass stains on your clothing. Life isn’t all about being proper and serious. Enjoy the time you have, and those around you will enjoy themselves, too, providing an energizing circle of joy.

10. Don’t be afraid to turn into your mother – Sure, she’s not perfect, and you don’t want to be just like her. But you won’t be; you have had your own experiences, and should feel secure enough in this knowledge to embrace the family resemblance that you cannot escape. Be who you want to be, but honor those who helped you become that person.